Seller Dos and Don'ts From the Sunday Times He was head of his family's thriving furniture store. This middle-aged man was a master at negotiating the sale of sofas, dining room sets and bedroom suites. So it seemed natural for him to mastermind the sale of his yellow stucco house. Indeed, when an offer came in just $2,000 below his asking price, he immediately dismissed his listing agent's recommendation that he accept the deal without quibbling. "He was a control freak. In the beginning, he refused to listen to me or accept even a dollar under the full price," recalls DJ Doss, the Century 21 agent who represented the furniture store owner. Who was hurt most by the man's overbearing behavior? He was. After the first bidder walked away, without making a counteroffer, a second proposal didn't come in for 45 days. And that one, which the humbled homeowner felt compelled to accept, was $20,000 beelow the asking price. Trouble Spots Of course, the owner of a house always retains the ultimate say on pricing issues. But a seller who intervenes excessively in this or other elements of home marketing risks self-sabotage, says Kenneth W. Edwards, author of three books on real estate. "You can get into deep water if you intrude too much," Edwards stresses. There are several ways in which a seller may become overly pushy - thereby reducing the odds of the best possible outcome, Edwards says. Some sellers try to second-guess their listing agent on when, where and how to advertise a property. Some try to edit their agent's comments in the Multiple Listing Service entry on the house. And some force themselves on would-be prospects when the place is shown. "You encounter some sellers who are 'Type A' people. They have to be in charge on every decision you make," says Doss. If you had an executive-level position in your profession or serve in a middle-management capacity you could be especially tempted to exercise undue control over your realty agent. "People who boss other people are used to being in charge," Doss says. Let Them Work No matter your personality or rank at the office, you could undermine your chances for the best possible sale if you micromanage your agent. "You need to find an agent you trust, and then you need to let that agent do the job," says Doss, who has sold houses for 17 years. Here are some suggestions for sellers: Don't lurk in the background during an open house. "Some control freaks insist on sticking around during an open house, making everyone involved uncomfortable," notes Doss. Knowing that it's not customary for owners to be present when a place is open for public viewing, some sellers will promise to remain quiet and in the background. Yet when buyers come through, "overbearing sellers can't resist opening their mouths and pointing out features of the house they like best," says Doss. The problem is that when the owner is present during any sort of showing, potential buyers are too inhibited to explore the property the way they must to picture themselves living there. That's because they feel as though they're invading the owner's private domain. "The buyer doesn't even feel comfortable looking in the closets, the cupboards or the garage," Doss says. While some buyers will attempt a return visit to see a house more thoroughly, most won't bother," Doss says from experience. "They'll take the path of least resistance. Don't open direct discussion with buyers or their agents. Each time a property is shown to a set of prospects, its owner is entitled to feedback. To adjust his strategy, the seller needs to know whether visitors think his place is too expensive or too cluttered, for example. But the prudent course is for the seller's agent to garner this feedback from the buyer's agent and then to pass it on to the owner. "Real estate deals are very emotional, and it's important to keep every deal on an arm's-length basis," Edwards says. There are two hazards when homeowners open direct communication with would-be buyers or their representatives. The first is that it conveys desperation on the seller's part, which usually weakens his or her bargaining position. The second is that the owner might inadvertently say too much. A seller could lose leverage, for instance, if he happens to remark that he's in the middle of a messy divorce, requiring that his house be sold by a particular date. Such information could embolden potential bidders to be more aggressive in seeking a lower price or better terms for themselves, Edwards says. Keep yourself from becoming too involved in the petty parts of the deal. Doss says she's represented buyers in several prospective home deals that came unglued because the owner became nit-picky on small elements of the deal. For instance, the seller could prove extremely annoying by unduly limiting the appliances and window coverings that are part of the transaction. "If your buyers get the impression you're difficult to deal with, they may just walk away," Edwards says. Lighten up for a better, happier outcome for all concerned. As unpleasant as it may seem to you, once the place you've called "home" goes up for sale, it becomes a product to be merchandised - like a wedding dress or a once-treasured car. No one cares about the happy memories you've experienced in your house. A successful sale requires you to detach yourself from the habitat and to mentally move on to your next place of residence. Doing so helps overbearing sellers to back off and lets a listing agent accomplish the optimum result on their behalf. To disconnect yourself emotionally, Doss suggests that aduring the arduous and sometimes inconvenient selling process, you reward yourself. For instance, when your house is being shown to strangers, go out and visit a friend you haven't seen in months or take in a movie. "Selling your home doesn't have to be torture. Look upon it as an adventure," Doss says.